By Piers Anthony
Be cautious what you would like for . . .
“I’m really a sensible woman who may make any guy a superb spouse. yet no guy sees that. No guy is attracted to my brain or character, simply my whatevers. So this is my want: I’m board stiff. i need experience, pleasure, and Romance.”
So starts off Piers Anthony’s thirty-eighth Xanth novel, during which beside the point Kandy seems to be at her mirrored image within the water of the shallow good and sees luxuriant midnight-black hair attaining right down to her breathtakingly narrow waist, matching the darkish eyes in her gorgeous face. A torso that comes with regards to absolute perfection. She is man’s wish. that's a part of the matter. within the shallow magic of the good, she asks that her want be granted.
anything occurs. A surprising whirlwind surrounds her, lifting her up and ripping off her garments. She is altering by some means. Then she falls flat at the ground.
actually. She has been reworked right into a flat, stiff board with knotholes for eyes.
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Additional info for Board Stiff (Xanth, Book 38)
Though G reenland is a hard land, its m eadows an d she lte red fjords were a good hom e to t he Norse and t hey lo ved their is lan d. Bu t as the world grows co lder, ma ny feel t hey could soon find themselves living among the eternal ice. It is time for them to go. If confronted, Sigurd will describe h er pl an as th e last, best hope for her people's s u rvival. Greenl and has been growing stea d ily co lde r. Every sum m er, th e ice retreat s a little bit less th an it d id t he year before.
H e is a large and very mu scular Greenl and er in his late 2 0's, with long blond e hair cascading down his back and a full beard. His effect on women (an d men 37 the region, and longs for greater adventure. If th ere are invaders about, he has seen no sign of this , but was out hunting for many weeks. When last he to ok a load of fu rs to G ard ar for trade, Jon Euge nsson gave him no indicati on of any t rouble. The honest Arni can't believe th at Jon wo uld st eer him wro ng . Being an op en and gu ileless sort, Arn i will sheep ishly ad mi t Sigu rd 's reason for an im osity if qu est ion ed: the two were once betrothed , but Arni refused to give up his long, solitary hunts on the ice.
This will leave abo u t 1,0 0 0 p eople o r less in the Eastern Settleme nt , chiefly the degen er at es, insane an d crim inal ele me n ts who will p robabl y di e o u t ra t her quickly whe n th e co lo ny is sho rn of its m o st p rod ucti ve memb ers . Th e fir st convo y has already t aken adva nce parties to begin clearing land and settling affairs with th e Skradings. G iven the Norse way, "se t tl ing affairs" is likely to include a healthy dose o f vio len ce. As in the other o p tio ns , th e pa rty can learn o f t he evacua tio n th rough a number of routes.