By Richard Lederer
'Anguished English' is the impossibly humorous anthology of unintentional attacks upon our language. From bloopers and mistakes to indicators of the days to combined Up Metaphors...from Two-Headed Headlines to Mangling Modifiers, here's an outrageous treasury of attacks upon our universal language that would go away you roaring with pride and laughter.
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Additional resources for Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assualts Upon Our Language
The monks sang gregarious chants in honor of the Lord's annotated. They've decided to raise my benefits, and they're making it radioactive! Growing up the lattice work were pink and yellow concubines. Many Jews hang masseuses from their doors. She has unmedicated gall. It's a nice momentum of the occasion. In many states, murderers are put to death by electrolysis. At the university, three classes of professors compromise the teaching staff. The corporation has set up rules for the employees, and we expect you to live up to them sacrilegiously.
But what came out was the message "Come to us and we'll throw gunk on your hair and pull some of it out. " As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strips: Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine foods expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. 00. For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
The specialist charged exuberant fees. Salary commiserates with experience. Don't tell them who sent it. I want to remain magnanimous.