Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assualts Upon by Richard Lederer

By Richard Lederer

'Anguished English' is the impossibly humorous anthology of unintentional attacks upon our language. From bloopers and error to indicators of the days to combined Up Metaphors...from Two-Headed Headlines to Mangling Modifiers, here's an outrageous treasury of attacks upon our universal language that may go away you roaring with satisfaction and laughter.

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Extra info for Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assualts Upon Our Language

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For Sale - Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy. Creative daily specials, including select offerings of beef, foul, fresh vegetables, salads, quiche. 7 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered with golden fried onion rings. Great Dames for sale. Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. 20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for charges, the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last year.

But what came out was the message "Come to us and we'll throw gunk on your hair and pull some of it out. " As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strips: Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine foods expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. 00. For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Behind every newspaper headline lurks a newspaper deadline. The men and women who compose headlines work within pressing restrictions of time and space. They must compact large-size print into narrow column widths, and their brief messages must clearly state the theme of each story, keep words intact, be attractive to the eye, and catch the reader's attention. On top of that, each headline must be written in a fraction of the time thought humanly possible. No wonder that, on occasion, editors get caught with their headlines down, and, exposed to as many as several million readers, the bold-faced botch becomes a red-faced result.

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